Analogy

Say there is a classroom of five-year-old kids. And I'm pretty sure that three of the kids wants to kill me. However, I can't find which kids it is, so I take a kid with a bad reputation and decide that I should beat the hell out of him. The teacher objects, but I say that he is hiding a gun in his backpack and I promise that he does and show her a picture I took on my camera phone of a bulge in the kid’s bag. The teacher still objects saying that this kid might not even be one of the kids trying to kill me. Ignoring the teacher I try and beat up this little kid. Now I thought I would just kick his ass, but it turns out the kid keeps kicking and punching. I go out to the store and buy a bat, a paintball gun, and cattle pod (I pay with my credit card, even though I am already in debt and my own family could be use some of my attention and resources). Anyway, I take all my weapons and I am still barely kicking the crap out of this kid (and I accidentally hurt some other kids in the classroom). In fact, he broke my arm and a few ribs, but in the end I stand over his barely conscious body and say “see how victorious I am, I beat up this kid and it only took months and a ton of money. And although I never found his gun, I’m sure those kids that wanted to kill me were distracted by my attempt to trounce this other kid. But what’s really important is that I just beat up a kid with a bad reputation and the classroom is better off for it. However, we must continue to beat up the bad kid and I’ll pay even more money to train other kids in the class and give them weapons so they can continue to beat him up when I leave, although I kinda like this class, it has oil-based paints and is in a good strategic location in case I want to beat up another kid with a bad reputation in the next room. Maybe I’ll stay.” And I look in the corner of the room and see one kid with a crazy look in his eyes and a bazooka pointed at my head and I quickly turn away and hope that he just goes away.

Comments

Katie Lipka said…
lol! I love you Daniel.

Those links are great. They're like the side bar commentary on the Colbert Report's Word of the Day.

Did you see this one?
http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/
Anonymous said…
i love you too, even if i wasn't married to you i would read this and love you. although your spelling would still bother me.

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