25 days, and 25 different experiences
Many days and night have passed since Lindy and I were blessed with our first daughter, and every day and night has since been a new experience. I still struggle to comprehend the magnitude of being a parent, as well as my general feelings and emotions. It is overwhelming and natural at the same time. I am happy and frustrated, fulfilled and empty, longing to see molly open her eyes and longing for her to go to sleep. However, I have come to understand a little more about family. Lindy and I each have our strengths and weaknesses, but this is not that time for either; we have both made “the necessary” our strengths and tried to relegate weakness to the irrelevant. Lindy, especially, has held up this family on her sleepless shoulders and refused to allow anything to hinder good parenting. I am in awe at her strength and willingness to relegate the “self” in order to promote the “all”. And I am grateful for and to her.
Not to say that everything is perfect. Life continues to through knuckleballs at us from every corner. However, the important things remain steady; Molly is healthy and growing, Lindy is healing, Dan is still bringing in money for bacon and shoes (and not in school anymore), and the family gets stronger everyday. But it is a struggle to find new ways of communicating and living. This is yet the beginning of a journey to an unknown destination, and in the end we have nothing but each other. I would like to say that I have thought of all the strategies and methods to prepare myself for the journey, but I stand at the beginning with nothing but my heart, soul, and reason. I will try to always stand tall and never forget my responsible towards my family and myself, and my years from now, I want to be able to look back and say that the journey was not easy, but it was it was pure, beautiful, and a wondrous experience.
My dearest Molly, who is no doubt faking sleep right now, is out there and I miss her very much. But I will see her tonight and everyday from this day to the end of time, I will proudly walk on the road that life may take me, no matter how many poopy diapers there are.
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“Parents are often so busy with the physical rearing of children that they miss the glory of parenthood, just as the grandeur of the trees is lost when raking leaves.” - Marcelene Cox
As I saw that quote, I recall something Kurt Vonnegut wrote many years ago, which said that fallen leaves are beautiful and should be appreciated and not raked. He also reminds us of the beauty and splendor of a cut across one’s finger and to think about the brilliant colors of a little blood and the magic of the human body. The philosophy behind both of these ideas is the same and both Lindy and I believe and practice it. Perhaps it will help us to avoid missing any such glories of parenthood.
(i'll post some more pictures to molly's website by next week - http://molly.kokopop.com/)
Not to say that everything is perfect. Life continues to through knuckleballs at us from every corner. However, the important things remain steady; Molly is healthy and growing, Lindy is healing, Dan is still bringing in money for bacon and shoes (and not in school anymore), and the family gets stronger everyday. But it is a struggle to find new ways of communicating and living. This is yet the beginning of a journey to an unknown destination, and in the end we have nothing but each other. I would like to say that I have thought of all the strategies and methods to prepare myself for the journey, but I stand at the beginning with nothing but my heart, soul, and reason. I will try to always stand tall and never forget my responsible towards my family and myself, and my years from now, I want to be able to look back and say that the journey was not easy, but it was it was pure, beautiful, and a wondrous experience.
My dearest Molly, who is no doubt faking sleep right now, is out there and I miss her very much. But I will see her tonight and everyday from this day to the end of time, I will proudly walk on the road that life may take me, no matter how many poopy diapers there are.
===============================================
“Parents are often so busy with the physical rearing of children that they miss the glory of parenthood, just as the grandeur of the trees is lost when raking leaves.” - Marcelene Cox
As I saw that quote, I recall something Kurt Vonnegut wrote many years ago, which said that fallen leaves are beautiful and should be appreciated and not raked. He also reminds us of the beauty and splendor of a cut across one’s finger and to think about the brilliant colors of a little blood and the magic of the human body. The philosophy behind both of these ideas is the same and both Lindy and I believe and practice it. Perhaps it will help us to avoid missing any such glories of parenthood.
(i'll post some more pictures to molly's website by next week - http://molly.kokopop.com/)
Comments
"A man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man."
- Vito Corleone to Johnny Fontane
http://www.jgeoff.com/godfather/gf1/actman.wav
http://www.jgeoff.com/godfather/gf1/realman.wav
Love, Carol